Monday, April 30, 2007

Rough month 

Ready to see April on his way out. The same weekend Guruji was hospitalized, got quite sick with this cold/bronchial/walking pneumonia-type-thing that still lingers. Even through the euphoria of Easter week and the bonus vacation time in the city, the seventy-degree first days of summer, the beauty of spring’s first flowers, I’ve pretty much felt like crap. Then, coupla days ago, took a major fall at work, slipped down the stairs, landing squarely on my butt, sending a jolt up my spine and snapping my head back. Had it not been so scary, it would've been funny, like You Tube funny. As it was, felt a little out of it (which is pretty normal for me, so ignored it), then my brain started pushing against my right eye making things really scary. And the neck was also a question mark- you say whiplash can take a few days to set in? I am taking rest and being cared for, and if things are outta whack tomorrow will seek out the onsite chiropractor.

Also in the Not Helping column: ashram crush hooked up and is smitten- with someone other than me. And: the GM at work gave me grief for taking those two weeks off and hired several new people, playing the “I can’t promise you your old schedule but let me see what I can do card”. I’d say, not knowing if I need to look for another job, something to tide me over for the next couple of months, yeah, that was a little stressful. Probably not best for the old immune system.

But even doing everything right, the yoga, the supplements, the rest, the ease of heart if not mind, none of it helped. I’d get better, then come to the ashram where people are still coughing away also and get more sick. It’s a running joke, how guests see our vibrant shining faces and mellow meals when we are in fact feverish and exhausted.

On the Things to Look Forward to list, added a bit of a bombshell. So inspired was I by the extended time spent here, the ten days of space and practice I got to enjoy over my holiday, that I toyed with coming here for longer. This was not the first time I’ve fantasized about it. Held back. That little house on the lake calls to me every summer. Realized the one thing holding me back from quitting the job a little earlier and taking off a little sooner than planned was fear. My little room is overcrowded, as it is, thanks. Trying to clear stuff out, as it is.

Submitted my request for full work study, early June through late August. Then Greece to see the folks and friends and buy my ticket to Delhi for mid September. Fear visits, sometimes. His partner doubt pops his head through the door, also. I gently but firmly shoo them away. Go calling somewhere else, guys- I have some temples to check out. Chants to learn. People to meet.

So, I guess it hasn't been such a rough month, after all. Just going through a few muddy patches, is all.

Comments: Post a Comment

This page is powered by Blogger. Isn't yours?