Friday, December 30, 2005

Libra moments 

Options for New Year's Eve, 2005:
Stay out on Long Island where I'm spending the day with a fellow yoga-geek and avoid all movement in the City on Crazies-Come-Out Day. Face the drunks on the subway and a) head out to Brooklyn where some friends are going to a local bar; as it was put to me, nice and easy and early, b) be brave and go to a Buddhist compassion meditation downtown, alone. Or hang out at home with el Gatito, who's been somewhat under the weather lately, watch it unfold on tv.

What I really woulda liked to do is hightail it upstate to the ashram for a few days. For next time. Because I'm training on the 1st, and on-call for the 2nd. Money-procuring must take precedence, at last, over "other" pursuits. And that's ok.

But the stars shine brighter in the crisp damp bark-infused night air that carries sounds of kirtan at Ananda.


In the meantime, emblematic of my decision-making processes, last coupla monthS, all this. Hard to know what direction to go in, if you don't know what direction you want to follow.

Are you ever really sure? Isn't mercury in retrograde? How much longer? Are we there, yet? Said with a smile.

Whatever you're doing, hope it's a kind and conscious one. Much love is there. Always.

Sunday, December 25, 2005




Perhaps worse than being stuck in an outer borough during a mass transit strike is being marooned on the Upper West Side. 89th and Riverside, which I cherish for how quiet and quaint and park-accessible it can be. But I practice and play and work downtown.

Never believed the strike would happen. When it did, and was not resolved Day 1, found myself completely wheel-less and far from where I needed to be. So I did what any Greek-bred New York-born thirty-something would do: I hitched.

Made a sign that read SOUTH. Added a :o) for good measure, and hit West End Avenue. Two ladies in a minivan took me to 66th and Broadway, where I brandished said sign in the middle of the street. All the "no"s I got were with a smile, and a van with four Mexican plumbers took me all the way downtown. With an hour to spare.

So glad and relieved we get to have Christmas after all. Feee-ewe.

Saturday, December 17, 2005

New cycle 

After two luscious months chillin' in the City and letting body and spirit flower and finesse, free from restraints or regimens, got off my butt and looked for work. Full cycle, since I decided that waitressing was not the way to go: I like to do it. I can do it and NOT work the six days a week I toughed out last year. And not have to rush anywhere, post-practice. And make people happy in ways more immediate than I would, were I to embrace the world of retail. So it's hard. Life's hard. My work is to soften and find the lightness within that, within me. Learn from the experience last year, and not allow myself to become physically obliterated. Not so much, at least.

Timely words from my teacher, right on the cusp of getting really worried and all attached to how my asana practice looks or has "progressed" last few months, and how thrusting my body in a sutuation where I am standing and lifting and doing all these repetitive things entailed in this line of work is likely to challenge [threaten] where I've gotten ["gotten"] to.

How yoga is not something you want to get good at. It's something you do.

And I do try to, every day. And when I haven't, I've learned from that.

Have been at play for five months, so now work is something I am very excited about, and happy to be pursuing. Am training at Antique Garage (training in server-speak means you work but don't get money for a few days while you learn the ropes and, unless you really mess up or walk away then you can start serving your own tables) and at Pastis. Will either divide my time between the two, or embark on training at The Odeon full-time. I really like all three places (in SoHo and Tribecca) and can see myself there. Very ready to swap out Upper West Side crowd for a little downtown flava. Feeling like working near where you live, as I have for the last four years, is overrated. Now I want to work near where I practice. It'll all fall into place hopefully soon, as I've gone through my savings and then some and am ready to start saving for the Next Trip again. India next winter, unless something lifechanging goes down. So hard to believe it's the holidays already. Am hoping I will be able to work on New Year's; fantasies of spending that time at the ashram can be materialized during more solvent times. Nothing I can do in the City will be worth the few hundred bucks I stand (hope!) to make that night.

Last puja of the year at Eddie's today, with just a few students in attendance but abundance of love and energy. My heart sings still. The school will be closed for ten days over the holidays. Determined to do what I can at home, which will entail a whole lotta furniture shifting and no "jumpings", as Mr. Iyengar calls them. It's doable. Somehow. Somewhere between the fridge and stairs, and the loft and the lamp overhead, there will be a strip big enough for my mat. Which is all I need, really. Really.

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