Tuesday, October 23, 2007

Catching flies 

Grab a tissue, envelop the little sucker, firm but soft, let him buzz around in your relaxed fist as you ease him off the window pane and drop him out into the warm autumn sunshine. Hunt down his brother bashing his face against the bright glass, repeat. Say a little prayer for the siblings stuck between glass and screen, forgive yourself for doing only what you can do, move on with your day.

As I always do, on the cusp of a big transition- viz spending my entire life savings, yet again, to make the pilgrimage back to Mysore and kiss mother India's stinky-hallowed earth, I am pretty fear-filled and freaked out. More than last time, because I am not running away from a bad-["real"]job to claim my freedom.

Have been meaning to book flights (for New Year's-ish) for 2 weeks, now, and there is always (will be) "something"- I just gotta do it. And trust that at some point on the way down, there will be a branch or a foothold to latch on to. At least, I'll enjoy the view as I fall. Frickin' out.

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